


Shepherd's Pi

by AuntG



Series: Because I Got Pie [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol, Chickens, Colorado, F/M, Fraternities & Sororities, Hunters & Hunting, Insults, John Winchester's A++ Parenting, Monster Hunters, Monsters, Pie, Sheep, University
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:42:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23139436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuntG/pseuds/AuntG
Summary: John takes his A student high school senior (yeah, right) son Dean on a campus tour at Colorado State, but really they're on a hunt.
Series: Because I Got Pie [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1558882
Comments: 3
Kudos: 4





	1. Omega Omega Omega

**Author's Note:**

> Happy 3.14 Pi Day!
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even the Empty.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is 15 and horny.

Friday, March 11th 1994

As John entered the hotel room, he slapped a magazine down onto the table in front of Dean.

 _Crazy Colorful Colorado_ it said.

"Read page 5, I'm getting a drink." John said as he stalked out of the room.

On page 5, just under an article called _Cracked_ _Crimes_ was another article titled _Creepy_ _Cryptids_. A subtitle read _Murder Most Fowl!_

There, Dean read an article that talked about how the Colorado State University agriculture students had been filming their latest project when they discovered that something had killed all but one of their hens, and the grainy footage got a glimpse of a creature that looked like someone cross bred a dog with a bat.

John returned with his beer and sat down, staring at Dean. Then he grunted.

"You're coming with. If he weren't so young I'd do this with Sam, but... I figure we can _at_ _least_ pass you off as seventeen, and we can tour the campus as a couple of rich people while we decide whether they deserve our tuition money." 

Then he pulled out what looked like a red handkerchief, and handed it to his son.

"What's this?" Dean asked, frowning.

"Put it around your neck, it's called an ascot*." John got up and went to the door muttering.

"Cool, like Fred." Dean said as the door closed and then he walked over to the minifridge. 

_Sam's apple, Sam's banana, Sam's broccoli… aha._ Dean grabbed a Coke from the fridge and turned to face Sam. Sam raised his eyebrows.

"Closet nerd." Sam said with amusement from where he was lying on a bed.

"Whatever, bitch."

"Jerk."

*****

The next day, John and Dean arrived on campus and got the official tour. But Dean snuck away after seeing a flyer for a free barbecue run by the Omega Omega Omega sorority. The lure of pretty girls in short shorts, flip flops and crop tank tops and _free_ food was too much.

When he got there he discovered that they had your choice of steak, hot dogs, pork ribs, grilled chicken, a kabob, or lamb chops. As a side you could have brisket, mashed potatoes, coleslaw, or corn on the cob.

It smelled heavenly and tasted better. So what if there were giant tip jar at every table, he got served by a bunch of giggly blondes and brunettes in crop tops named things like Charity and Chastity, and Modesty.

He sat down with his heavily laden plate to eat. Once he was done and no longer in a food coma he realized that everyone around him was gossiping and freaking out about a missing Rambouillet sheep. He got a phone call and answered it.

"Son, where have you been!? I left without you an hour ago, enjoy the walk back to the hotel."

Dean apologized and told him about the missing ram, wondering if the creature took it.

"Well, if it's killing goats and chickens, then I believe that what we are dealing with is called a Chupacabra."

"Cool, how do we kill it?"

"I understand that they are afraid of fire. Get back here."

"Understood."

Click.

*****

When he went to sleep that night he found Castiel sitting on a picnic basket, next to a picnic basket wearing white shorts and a pale blue polo shirt surrounded by naked beautiful college students.

He saw that one brunette had put her hand on Castiel's thigh. A blonde was leaning over and brushing her breasts against his chest as she fed Castiel some grapes.

"What the hell, Cas?"

" They are part of _your_ dream, assbutt."

"Is there something you need to tell me, Dean?"

"Yeah, why are you here?"

"It's important to look in on my flock on occasion." Castiel said in an even tone as one red head got bold and started to undo the buttons on his shirt and slid her hand in.

"I bet you never check in on Sam, you should go do so."

Castiel rolled his eyes and vanished.

*****

Sunday March 13, 1994

The next day they went back to campus and Dean went straight to the Omega Omega Omega sorority because he had a hunch that they were connected. The pretty girls were just a plus.

John just muttered "Enjoy it while it lasts. Be back by six." and then he left to look for his own clues.

Outside of the Omega Omega Omega sorority building was a girl he recognized as one of his servers.

"Are you lost?"

"Not exactly."

"My name is Modesty."

"Hi. I'm Dean."

"Can I come in?"

"Sure."

So they took the steps up to the sorority house. inside Dean found a chair and sat down.

"Did you hear about the fiasco with the agricultural students?"

"Yeah, that was weird."

"And now the Ram."

"Did you read the article? We're looking for a mutant dog or something, do you think that they will come for us!?" Dean had to calm her down with the best way he knew how. He pulled her in for a kiss.

Some girls started screaming and running down the stairs. When the girls saw him, they calmed down and introduced themselves, and then informed him that their den mother was out for a couple of days so he could stay and 'watch' movies. Dean didn't really believe them, since they looked spooked, but he couldn't really think of a way to challenge the statement so he decided to just stay and wait until he got a chance to inspect the upstairs area.

After the first movie ended he made an excuse about needing the bathroom and snuck upstairs. There, he found that there were deeply gouged claw marks on the floor and wooden furniture. He made a call to his dad getting his voicemail and went back to the couch.

Modesty had gotten some popcorn. They started to watch the second movie. Modesty put the bowl of popcorn in Dean's lap. Half an hour in, Modesty's hand 'missed' the popcorn bowl and landed on Dean's thigh. Score! But then Modesty stood up when two of the sorority girls came in.

Suddenly, there were two loud animal sounds coming from the pantry. The first was the desperate bay of a Ram, the other made a sound unlike anything he'd ever heard.

He made another quick phone call to his father to bring reinforcements. He could hear Bobby on their line calling his father a drunken idjit and promising to come instead from Nebraska. WTF? Dean shook his head. He needed to focus if he was going solo.

"You need fire." he said and looked at Magnanimity hoping that she carried a lighter to go with the grunge look. Liberality, of the tight white coat dress with long sleeves and black buttons, came over and handed him a lighter with a smile.

Then Dean revealed the long knife that he always carries and went downstairs.

*****

The basement was dark. So, naturally, on the third step was sheep dung that Dean stepped in.

"Yuck!"

He went down the rest of the steps, surreptitiously scraping the bottom of his shoe on each step until he reached the bottom. 

There the room opened up and you could see a folding table, laundry baskets, a washer, a dryer, a pole for hanging clothes and a rope tied to a bleating animal that was being attacked by a bizarre brown tailless hairless large eyed fanged wing flapped bat-dog creature with spikes along its spine.

He flipped open the lighter.

"Hey ugly!" he said as he wove the lighter in its face. It growled, acidic saliva dripping from its mouth.

"Don't _like_ that do you?" Dean said, and the creature responded by moving lighting fast to attack itself high up on the wall. The terrified lamb, newly freed, decided to bolt for the stairs, but was stopped short when it started to choke from the rope on its neck.

"That's cruel."muttered Dean.

Light spilled out from an open door.

"Get out!" shouted Dean, as he eyed the creature. As fast as it was, those idiot chicks were going to let it escape.

Modesty ignored him and closed the door behind her.

"I'm sorry." she said, addressing the Ram as she began to untie it.

"It was only supposed to be a joke. We were going to free him after the football game, but then those chickens were mauled."

 _How is this my life?_ Thought Dean as he felt the begging of a migraine.

The second that Modesty had freed the sheep, the creature moved. It ran up to grab the sheep again so Dean used it's distraction to throw his knife. It landed embedded between the shoulder and the neck. The creature screamed and let go of the ram. It began to crawl away feebly. Dean walked up to it.

"Ewwww... There's some bandages in a first aid box in the kitchen." said Modesty and she led the ram upstairs for medical treatment.

Dean walked up to the ugly creature, pulled out it's knife and cut its head off.

Bobby showed up in time to help clean up and reassure the sorority girls.

*****

Monday, March 14, 1994

When the boys returned to school, they found a steaming hot pie that they had never seen before. There was a note next to it that read "This is a Campbell family recipe**. Enjoy the Shepherd's Pie."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is funny? Not funny? Please comment.


	2. So Very Green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> St. Patrick's day in Florida.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little extra.

Thursday, March 17, 1994

Three days later Sam and Dean were in Miami Florida, staring at the most verdant emerald green Key Lime Pie that they had ever seen. It had been baked in a shamrock shaped pie pan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments?

**Author's Note:**

> *Remember the Scooby Doo episode?  
> **I believe you can find this at the Campbell website. Soup, that is. (I just couldn't resist--Sam and Dean are Mary Campbell's sons after all.)
> 
> No mascots were killed in the making of this fic.


End file.
